Not that I hate doing it....it's one of my favorite parts of homeschooling actually.
After a week using what I'd purchased, I'm already 'tweaking' (a technical term that we school-at-homers use to explain why we're still obsessing over curriculum choices.)
We're dropping Horizons Language Arts (includes phonics, reading, spelling and handwriting) in favor of MCP Plaid Phonics B, Houghton/Mifflin's 2nd grade reader "Silly Things Happen", CLP's Nature Readers 1, and The Beginner's Bible for reading. Spelling and handwriting will be combined in our daily Copywork: quotes, scripture, poetry, grammar terms, etc that we're coming across in other subject areas. I'm also adding First Language Lessons, where we'll derive poetry and grammar terms, and hone narration skills. I'm zipping thru it 2 lessons a day as it's for 1st and 2nd grades and I want to finish by year's end. I've also decided to try a curriculum for our morning bible/devotions time....ordered Beginnings II: Jesus our Shepherd from the Explorer's Bible Study materials. We shall see....I abhor packaged bible studies, but these came highly recommended, highly non-denominational, and I assume highly Western/American Culture-ish, but I'll work with it. (Does anyone know if Rob Bell will ever publish a kid's bible curriculum????? Alicia?????)
I've also arranged our schedule to more closely reflect what's really happening each day. I'm saving after lunch time for World/American History and geography and our science studies. What You're 2nd Grader Needs to Know from the Core Knowledge series is our spine for these subjects, each one given it's own day. We'll also use this time for art and music appreciation (see below for links to our curriculum choices in these areas.)
So here's our revised curriculum and daily schedule (as my readers wait with bated breath):
8:00 Breakfast, Bible and *Memorywork with Sam
8:45 Copywork--quotes, scripture from bible lesson, poetry and grammar from FLL
9:00 Spanish--Speedy Spanish, Learnables, Powerglide, (cds, dvds, activity books...we're going for immersion here, and I'm learning too!)
9:30 Math--Horizons Grade 2
10:00 Break...usually a walk or bike ride with mom the teacher and Bogart the dog! We try to do a bit of nature observation during this time as well.
10:30 Piano practice--Pianimals Bk A
10:45 Phonics--MCP Plaid Phonics Bk B (see link above)
11:00 Language--First Language Lessons (see link above)
11:15 Reading--Beginner's Bible, Nature Reader, Silly Things Happen (see link above)
11:45 Lunch (my favorite part of the day!)
12:30 Rotating Subjects:
Monday-World History (What Your 2nd Grader...) and Geography (Evan Moor Beginning Geography set)
Tuesday-Science (What Your 2nd Grader....)
Wednesday-Artistic Pursuits K-3 (art practice and appreciation)
Thursday-American History (What Your 2nd Grader....)
Friday-Classical Magic (music appreciation)
During dead time in the car waiting to pick up kids: Classical Kids, spanish cds and activity books from the library, and books-on-tape (currently listening to Peter Pan unabridged!) or read aloud (also reading Benjamin West and His Cat Grimalkin).
Evenings are Family Read Aloud time. This year we're focusing on 1st grade Literature recomendations, again from What Your Second Grader Needs to Know. (see link above). We'll be reading Grimm's Fairy Tales, Hans Christian Andersen Fairy Tales, Andrew Lang's Fairy Books (The Red Fairy Book, orange, green, etc), James Baldwin's 50 Famous Stories Retold.
We'll also have a chapter book going for this time as the above stories are brief. I'm using rec's from Books to Build On for the most part. And of course, we won't forget to revisit favorite classic and picture books, poetry, and Hardy Boys with dad!
*Memorywork includes: quotes, poetry, scripture, spanish vocabulary, artists, grammar terms, and math facts. It takes all of 10 minutes, and I use this for organizing all this memory work and review each day. 'Tis fabulous. Highly recommended.
It seems like a ton when I write it out like this, but it's really not. We focus on getting 'readin' ritin' and 'rithmetic done everyday...if that's all that happens, I'm good with saying "We've done the minimum." When we get bible, memorywork and piano in, I'm feeling pretty darn good. And if the after-lunch subjects get finished then, dude, I'm totally, like, flyin'.
Hope you've enjoyed this little foray into my homeschool. I'll take some pics soon of our study area...still working on getting it set up the way I want. And it might be good if I can find the camera.
Back to lesson planning!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Moments: Lots of 'em....and lemonade to boot.
Well, I've managed to get thru our first week of school. The stress over dropping kids off and picking kids up has taken it's toll, though, and I'm wondering if the 6 hours of peace is worth it. I'm constantly watching the clock, and worrying over whether I'll get to S's school before he's in tears again. I've become an angry, agressive driver in the span of 5 days....I can't do that many adrenaline rushes each day without losing my mind (which was already on its way toward mush before school started).
Pretty much at 2:15 my day is over. That's when I start making the rounds to the schools. B and I are done with school and lunch by 12:30-ish, so that leaves an hour and a half for errands and such. After picking everyone up, I'm home just in time to get supper ready, then hubby is home. The days fly by, that's for sure.
On the homeschool front, so far the only dud we've had is phonics/spelling. We're using Horizons, but I don't like all the writing and busywork, and the reader is BORING, with outdated sentence structure and topics. I will give it another week, then decide if it's time to try something else.
All the girls and S are adjusting to their new learning environments as well. Other than the suffocating humidity and buildings with no air conditioning, the younger two are enjoying school. G decided to go out for the 8th grade cheering squad, which makes me just a *wee* bit nervous, and S is meeting new friends and getting invited over for play dates already....which also makes me just a *wee* bit nervous.
Ya know, having lots 'o kids is stressful regardless of the kind of schooling they receive. With homeschooling, a parent can certainly control the environment easier, but then an environment of lots 'o kids all day everyday is stressful. With away schooling, the parent buys a bit of respite from the chaos, but it doesn't go away forever...it simply compounds over the day so that it hits all at once between mid-afternoon and bedtime.
Still trying to recite my mantra...still having difficulty.
Having kids is hard. stressful. work. But I'm challenging myself to see the silver linings moment by moment. I'm going to learn, even if it kills me, to savor the time I'm given whether it's spent waiting in a line of cars at school, sounding out words with a young reader, shopping for the plumpest green pepper at the grocery. These are all divine acts, moments infused with possibilities to make the world a better place. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
And I'm learning how to make a darn good batch of lemonade every day.
Pretty much at 2:15 my day is over. That's when I start making the rounds to the schools. B and I are done with school and lunch by 12:30-ish, so that leaves an hour and a half for errands and such. After picking everyone up, I'm home just in time to get supper ready, then hubby is home. The days fly by, that's for sure.
On the homeschool front, so far the only dud we've had is phonics/spelling. We're using Horizons, but I don't like all the writing and busywork, and the reader is BORING, with outdated sentence structure and topics. I will give it another week, then decide if it's time to try something else.
All the girls and S are adjusting to their new learning environments as well. Other than the suffocating humidity and buildings with no air conditioning, the younger two are enjoying school. G decided to go out for the 8th grade cheering squad, which makes me just a *wee* bit nervous, and S is meeting new friends and getting invited over for play dates already....which also makes me just a *wee* bit nervous.
Ya know, having lots 'o kids is stressful regardless of the kind of schooling they receive. With homeschooling, a parent can certainly control the environment easier, but then an environment of lots 'o kids all day everyday is stressful. With away schooling, the parent buys a bit of respite from the chaos, but it doesn't go away forever...it simply compounds over the day so that it hits all at once between mid-afternoon and bedtime.
Still trying to recite my mantra...still having difficulty.
Having kids is hard. stressful. work. But I'm challenging myself to see the silver linings moment by moment. I'm going to learn, even if it kills me, to savor the time I'm given whether it's spent waiting in a line of cars at school, sounding out words with a young reader, shopping for the plumpest green pepper at the grocery. These are all divine acts, moments infused with possibilities to make the world a better place. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
And I'm learning how to make a darn good batch of lemonade every day.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Misadventures: "Your son has already been picked up"
COME AGAIN?????
Yes, indeedy, let's talk about the efficiency of (or, um, lack there of)the public school's transportation policies.
Imagine with me for a moment, your six year old son on his first day of school herded out into the hallway, having been designated a 'car rider', told to sit quietly with a bajillion other elementary kids to wait til their number is called...which means their parent with the matching number has safely navigated the snaking, crawling line of vehicles filled with other parents and had made it to the front of the pick-up line.
OK, now, imagine me sitting in that snaking, crawling line 2 BLOCKS from the actual school building (in the pouring rain don't forget) when I suddenly realize my engine is smoking. Puffy little clouds of grey-black smoke are gently wafting up thru the hood vents, and filling the air with the familiar smell of burning oil.
Yes, you guessed it. I said a bad word. Or three. I figured at this point my poor car has gone into denial about this whole sitting-for-over-an-hour 2 times a day waiting for children to either disembark or get in and buckle up. I sympathize because I'd just been envisioning a never ending stretch of bleak landscapes generally filled with Indiana license plates and tacky bumper stickers, with the occasional 'thump thump thump' reverberating from an older sibling's hotrod (who has, God forbid, been asked to retrieve a younger counterpart.)
Well, I manuevered out of the line of cars and idled my way to a driveway across the road from the school's entrance....thankfully one of my dd's friends lives there, and her family is gone all day at work or school. Which doesn't stop me from banging incessantly on her front door anyway because, horror of horrors, my cell phone is dead. (I'm desparately trying to remember my mantra, the little ditty I shared yesterday about how this is the right choice for our family for this season. Didn't work.) So......
I run over to school admidst soaking wet children, school buses, anxious parents,and exhausted staff and make my way to the office to inform them that my car is in the process of a slow death, my cell is dead, and my son is at the other end of the hallway waiting for his beloved mother to save him from this institution. "No problem" I'm told. "Just hold on and we'll radio one of the teachers to send him down here." Whilst waiting for sight of my precious boy, I'm catching my breath and playing scenarios in my mind of how we're going to get home if I can't get the car to start or drive or whatever. After 10 full minutes, some staff woman realizes my child has still not appeared and offers to go down and get him herself. I'm waking up to the realization that perhaps something's rotten in the State of Denmark, but dismiss the thought quickly, blaming my over-active imagination on the current car crisis.
Another FULL 10 MINUTES ticks by, and frankly, I'm not a happy camper anymore. Just then I see previous staff woman coming back down the hall sans my son with a telling expression...one of "oh God this parent is going to be pissed" mixed with an obvious attempt to look non-chalant and in control. My heart goes to my throat, then to my shoes, then out my ears. I feel the surging waves of adrenaline, panic, and mother bear instinct arising in my innards...the caged animal who refuses to be silent any longer.
"Your son has already been picked up."
OH NO HE HASN'T. I say this firmly, threateningly, and not without a little accusation in my tone. She replies just as condescendingly "We only let the child go with a person who's number matches that on his bookbag". Realizing I don't have the luxury of time to throw a tantrum, I immediately give way to panic and begin blabbing 100 miles a minute that no one else even knows his number....that I hadn't even given my husband the retarded neon orange laminated number card for his car's visor....that someone else has my child and we don't know anyone else at this school....and-and-and-and-and OH GOD!!!!
Those just inside the office are now aware something might not be going as well as it should, and I'm sorta gently man-handled to the back office and told to try calling my husband and they'd look up the numbers for my other listed emergency contacts. This is all a blur for me....I remember hearing over and over in my head that my baby had already been picked up, my baby had already been picked up, my baby had already been picked up....being angry that I couldn't remember my husband's phone number....that this was a ploy to get me out of the public's eye and give them time to cover their own assinine mistake, because I already knew my dh had most certainly NOT picked up S from school....
Shaking fingers, hushed conversations next door, a hand on my back, my son's name being called over the radios....one ring, (this is SOOO STUPID! This cannot be HAPPENING!!!) two rings, (Oh S, where could you be?! I'm TERRIFIED!!) three rings (I'm going to faint, who has taken you???).....
And then in the blink of an eye, life grinds to a halt, wheels smoking, and I heard someone yell "Sandy! Where has he been? We have a mother freaking out back here!" And I threw the phone receiver down, knocked over the body guard staff woman, and jumped over the desk chair. MY BABY! He was looking at all of us with a confused look, holding his teacher's hand. Everything in the periphery of my vision went fuzzy and the heavens opened over my beautiful son's little chubby cheeks. Never has his brown eyes looked more delicious...
My lovely companion thru this ordeal had been told that S had been called out to the loading area and had been picked up. What had actually happened is this: when his name was called, the teacher in charge didn't hear the "send him down to the office" part and just sent him outside with the next group of riders. When his group had all been picked up, another teacher saw him standing alone outside wondering where his mommy was (can you imagine his confusion and fear????). They brought him inside and down to the office, which is standard procedure when the parent evidently doesn't show up.
And now you're up to speed.
But I wasn't up to speed yet. I was standing on legs of rubber, eyes blurred with tears, and a heart that was having trouble expressing anything coherently to the (obviously relieved) staff. I vaguely remember them throwing offers at me like "use our phone if your car is broke down" and "please don't walk home in the rain" and other stuff...to which I graciously declined and thanked them while in my head I was saying "too little too late, you assholes". I realize it was an honest mistake made on the first day of school, when the pouring rains brought even the walkers' parents out to pick them up. Mass confusion and frustration for everyone. I realize this logically, and of course forgive them for the oversight. But, damn, don't ever let it happen to MY KID again, get it?
Well the van did start and I idled it home, came in the house to chattering teenagers exploding with the familiar drama of The First Day Of School. I was finally able to breathe a "thank you" to the Powers that Be for the way the day turned out, for helping me relish the 6 hours of peace that allowed me to deposit what ever that earthy, magical, divine stuff is that gets a mother thru life and death episodes of panic over her offspring. I actually giggled as I suddenly recalled S's words to me as our car pulled (er, limped) away from the school: "Hey Mom, the sauce we had with our enchiladas was really yummy".
Ah yes, I remember: his first day of school...."so what did you learn today?"
"Lots of stuff, but I don't remember any of it." (said thru the suck-suck-sucking of his fingers in the car seat behind me...it'd been a long day and he needed his fix(Remind me of the mantra again?)
PS. The only residual blip today was my teary eyed 6 year old coming out to the van after school, shyly smiling in relief that his mommy truly didn't forget him today....it just took soooo long for them to call his number, and my car was behind bigger cars toward the end of the loading area and so invisible to him as he walked in faith toward something, anything, that looked familiar. He said he was "just a little bit worried" I wasn't going to come. I told him he was my courageous boy, that I was very proud of him, and that I would NEVER NEVER NEVER leave him at school.
"I know Mommy." God love him!
Yes, indeedy, let's talk about the efficiency of (or, um, lack there of)the public school's transportation policies.
Imagine with me for a moment, your six year old son on his first day of school herded out into the hallway, having been designated a 'car rider', told to sit quietly with a bajillion other elementary kids to wait til their number is called...which means their parent with the matching number has safely navigated the snaking, crawling line of vehicles filled with other parents and had made it to the front of the pick-up line.
OK, now, imagine me sitting in that snaking, crawling line 2 BLOCKS from the actual school building (in the pouring rain don't forget) when I suddenly realize my engine is smoking. Puffy little clouds of grey-black smoke are gently wafting up thru the hood vents, and filling the air with the familiar smell of burning oil.
Yes, you guessed it. I said a bad word. Or three. I figured at this point my poor car has gone into denial about this whole sitting-for-over-an-hour 2 times a day waiting for children to either disembark or get in and buckle up. I sympathize because I'd just been envisioning a never ending stretch of bleak landscapes generally filled with Indiana license plates and tacky bumper stickers, with the occasional 'thump thump thump' reverberating from an older sibling's hotrod (who has, God forbid, been asked to retrieve a younger counterpart.)
Well, I manuevered out of the line of cars and idled my way to a driveway across the road from the school's entrance....thankfully one of my dd's friends lives there, and her family is gone all day at work or school. Which doesn't stop me from banging incessantly on her front door anyway because, horror of horrors, my cell phone is dead. (I'm desparately trying to remember my mantra, the little ditty I shared yesterday about how this is the right choice for our family for this season. Didn't work.) So......
I run over to school admidst soaking wet children, school buses, anxious parents,and exhausted staff and make my way to the office to inform them that my car is in the process of a slow death, my cell is dead, and my son is at the other end of the hallway waiting for his beloved mother to save him from this institution. "No problem" I'm told. "Just hold on and we'll radio one of the teachers to send him down here." Whilst waiting for sight of my precious boy, I'm catching my breath and playing scenarios in my mind of how we're going to get home if I can't get the car to start or drive or whatever. After 10 full minutes, some staff woman realizes my child has still not appeared and offers to go down and get him herself. I'm waking up to the realization that perhaps something's rotten in the State of Denmark, but dismiss the thought quickly, blaming my over-active imagination on the current car crisis.
Another FULL 10 MINUTES ticks by, and frankly, I'm not a happy camper anymore. Just then I see previous staff woman coming back down the hall sans my son with a telling expression...one of "oh God this parent is going to be pissed" mixed with an obvious attempt to look non-chalant and in control. My heart goes to my throat, then to my shoes, then out my ears. I feel the surging waves of adrenaline, panic, and mother bear instinct arising in my innards...the caged animal who refuses to be silent any longer.
"Your son has already been picked up."
OH NO HE HASN'T. I say this firmly, threateningly, and not without a little accusation in my tone. She replies just as condescendingly "We only let the child go with a person who's number matches that on his bookbag". Realizing I don't have the luxury of time to throw a tantrum, I immediately give way to panic and begin blabbing 100 miles a minute that no one else even knows his number....that I hadn't even given my husband the retarded neon orange laminated number card for his car's visor....that someone else has my child and we don't know anyone else at this school....and-and-and-and-and OH GOD!!!!
Those just inside the office are now aware something might not be going as well as it should, and I'm sorta gently man-handled to the back office and told to try calling my husband and they'd look up the numbers for my other listed emergency contacts. This is all a blur for me....I remember hearing over and over in my head that my baby had already been picked up, my baby had already been picked up, my baby had already been picked up....being angry that I couldn't remember my husband's phone number....that this was a ploy to get me out of the public's eye and give them time to cover their own assinine mistake, because I already knew my dh had most certainly NOT picked up S from school....
Shaking fingers, hushed conversations next door, a hand on my back, my son's name being called over the radios....one ring, (this is SOOO STUPID! This cannot be HAPPENING!!!) two rings, (Oh S, where could you be?! I'm TERRIFIED!!) three rings (I'm going to faint, who has taken you???).....
And then in the blink of an eye, life grinds to a halt, wheels smoking, and I heard someone yell "Sandy! Where has he been? We have a mother freaking out back here!" And I threw the phone receiver down, knocked over the body guard staff woman, and jumped over the desk chair. MY BABY! He was looking at all of us with a confused look, holding his teacher's hand. Everything in the periphery of my vision went fuzzy and the heavens opened over my beautiful son's little chubby cheeks. Never has his brown eyes looked more delicious...
My lovely companion thru this ordeal had been told that S had been called out to the loading area and had been picked up. What had actually happened is this: when his name was called, the teacher in charge didn't hear the "send him down to the office" part and just sent him outside with the next group of riders. When his group had all been picked up, another teacher saw him standing alone outside wondering where his mommy was (can you imagine his confusion and fear????). They brought him inside and down to the office, which is standard procedure when the parent evidently doesn't show up.
And now you're up to speed.
But I wasn't up to speed yet. I was standing on legs of rubber, eyes blurred with tears, and a heart that was having trouble expressing anything coherently to the (obviously relieved) staff. I vaguely remember them throwing offers at me like "use our phone if your car is broke down" and "please don't walk home in the rain" and other stuff...to which I graciously declined and thanked them while in my head I was saying "too little too late, you assholes". I realize it was an honest mistake made on the first day of school, when the pouring rains brought even the walkers' parents out to pick them up. Mass confusion and frustration for everyone. I realize this logically, and of course forgive them for the oversight. But, damn, don't ever let it happen to MY KID again, get it?
Well the van did start and I idled it home, came in the house to chattering teenagers exploding with the familiar drama of The First Day Of School. I was finally able to breathe a "thank you" to the Powers that Be for the way the day turned out, for helping me relish the 6 hours of peace that allowed me to deposit what ever that earthy, magical, divine stuff is that gets a mother thru life and death episodes of panic over her offspring. I actually giggled as I suddenly recalled S's words to me as our car pulled (er, limped) away from the school: "Hey Mom, the sauce we had with our enchiladas was really yummy".
Ah yes, I remember: his first day of school...."so what did you learn today?"
"Lots of stuff, but I don't remember any of it." (said thru the suck-suck-sucking of his fingers in the car seat behind me...it'd been a long day and he needed his fix(Remind me of the mantra again?)
PS. The only residual blip today was my teary eyed 6 year old coming out to the van after school, shyly smiling in relief that his mommy truly didn't forget him today....it just took soooo long for them to call his number, and my car was behind bigger cars toward the end of the loading area and so invisible to him as he walked in faith toward something, anything, that looked familiar. He said he was "just a little bit worried" I wasn't going to come. I told him he was my courageous boy, that I was very proud of him, and that I would NEVER NEVER NEVER leave him at school.
"I know Mommy." God love him!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Moments: It begins.
Day one: Find our heroine dragging herself out of bed at 6:45-ish, greeted by the most torrential rain yet encountered this season, to be sure all offspring are up and breathing. She finds 3 teenage girls in various activities all having to do with hair, make up and clothing. Check.
Next our trusty mama goes to rouse the little guys...who immediately rebel against getting out of bed 'so early', though they've been getting up a good 30 minutes before now every day thru the past summer months. Not to be deterred, mama hands each boy his clothing for the day and treks downstairs to gather up the various and sundry required items each child must bring into their appropriate institution....lunch money checks, immunization copies, threatening letters to teachers (scratch that), 2 bottles of hand sanitizer, paint shirt. Check.
Back upstairs, vaguely aware of spouse shaving and preparing for his day, mama throws on some clothes (piled conveniently though haphazardly on the bedroom floor), sighs at the image in the mirror before her with greasy hair and eye boogers, and begins loading up kidlets for the inevitable journey into the world at large. Check.
At this juncture, our protagonist has been trying to stuff emotions that have been lurking beneath the surface for the last few weeks, emotions that regurgitate as fear, doubt, regret......but she squares her shoulders, dumps 8th grade dd at the door to what might possibly be a chamber of horrors and progresses steadfastly to the next stop, picking up a friend's daughter who is entering her freshman year at a new school in a new district. Wait for 20 minutes in a line of cars full of other worried, haggard parents, dropping their cargo as close to the door as possible, as it seems the deluge of water pouring from the sky has no intention of closing up shop. Back home again, mother dear pours sugar-coated cereal for the cranky boys and prepares the youngest of the crew for his first day of Kindergarten. This entails digging out 3 months of summer dirt from beneath untrimmed finger nails. Check.
Back in the transportation vehicle once again, our mother makes a last minute decision to let Rover join in the fun, and then makes her way to the local elementary school. Youngest boy hops out with a quick wave of his hand and tears off thru the rain for the door, hotwheels backpack almost completely eclipsing his perfect 6-year-old form. My last baby leaves the nest.
Check (sob).
Immediately, the car is silent. 8 year old son behind her and Rover drooling next to her both turn to look at mama. The air is heavy with expectation, loaded with possibilities both good and bad. Mother feels this is the moment she's been dreading for weeks, living in fear and trepidation of for the last month....that moment when the van door slams closed and quiet takes over.
And what does our heroine do? She smiles. She sighs. She savors the moment of peace. She begins to anticipate a day with her one boy still schooling at home. She pets her dog. She breathes. And it's good. There is a brief moment when the delicious moment is threatened by the unwelcome, but predictable character, GUILT. She contemplates giving way, but stands firm, repeating her mantra internally "this is the best choice for my family for this season".
Back home, with a cup of jasmine tea, she begins her school day with her son....and the joy of the work takes her by surprise. The familiar feelings of being overwhelmed by what must be accomplished are absent, replaced by peaceful interaction with her son. When the time comes to begin the whirlwind hour of retrieving her offspring, a wistful sigh escapes her spirit, not anxious for the chaos that will surely take over. Yet she has the energy, amazingly enough, to face it today. That's what silence can do for you. That's what peace affords you. That's what facing the unknown with courage (and fear) will bring you. That's what letting go is all about, and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Next our trusty mama goes to rouse the little guys...who immediately rebel against getting out of bed 'so early', though they've been getting up a good 30 minutes before now every day thru the past summer months. Not to be deterred, mama hands each boy his clothing for the day and treks downstairs to gather up the various and sundry required items each child must bring into their appropriate institution....lunch money checks, immunization copies, threatening letters to teachers (scratch that), 2 bottles of hand sanitizer, paint shirt. Check.
Back upstairs, vaguely aware of spouse shaving and preparing for his day, mama throws on some clothes (piled conveniently though haphazardly on the bedroom floor), sighs at the image in the mirror before her with greasy hair and eye boogers, and begins loading up kidlets for the inevitable journey into the world at large. Check.
At this juncture, our protagonist has been trying to stuff emotions that have been lurking beneath the surface for the last few weeks, emotions that regurgitate as fear, doubt, regret......but she squares her shoulders, dumps 8th grade dd at the door to what might possibly be a chamber of horrors and progresses steadfastly to the next stop, picking up a friend's daughter who is entering her freshman year at a new school in a new district. Wait for 20 minutes in a line of cars full of other worried, haggard parents, dropping their cargo as close to the door as possible, as it seems the deluge of water pouring from the sky has no intention of closing up shop. Back home again, mother dear pours sugar-coated cereal for the cranky boys and prepares the youngest of the crew for his first day of Kindergarten. This entails digging out 3 months of summer dirt from beneath untrimmed finger nails. Check.
Back in the transportation vehicle once again, our mother makes a last minute decision to let Rover join in the fun, and then makes her way to the local elementary school. Youngest boy hops out with a quick wave of his hand and tears off thru the rain for the door, hotwheels backpack almost completely eclipsing his perfect 6-year-old form. My last baby leaves the nest.
Check (sob).
Immediately, the car is silent. 8 year old son behind her and Rover drooling next to her both turn to look at mama. The air is heavy with expectation, loaded with possibilities both good and bad. Mother feels this is the moment she's been dreading for weeks, living in fear and trepidation of for the last month....that moment when the van door slams closed and quiet takes over.
And what does our heroine do? She smiles. She sighs. She savors the moment of peace. She begins to anticipate a day with her one boy still schooling at home. She pets her dog. She breathes. And it's good. There is a brief moment when the delicious moment is threatened by the unwelcome, but predictable character, GUILT. She contemplates giving way, but stands firm, repeating her mantra internally "this is the best choice for my family for this season".
Back home, with a cup of jasmine tea, she begins her school day with her son....and the joy of the work takes her by surprise. The familiar feelings of being overwhelmed by what must be accomplished are absent, replaced by peaceful interaction with her son. When the time comes to begin the whirlwind hour of retrieving her offspring, a wistful sigh escapes her spirit, not anxious for the chaos that will surely take over. Yet she has the energy, amazingly enough, to face it today. That's what silence can do for you. That's what peace affords you. That's what facing the unknown with courage (and fear) will bring you. That's what letting go is all about, and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Misadventures: The Borg have come a'callin...
AS the hours wind down toward the beginning of the new school year, I'm finally able to catch my breath. It's been a whirlwind of shopping for supplies, clothes, doctor/dentist/hair appointments, cheer practices, registration papers, meetings....the public school univers has got to be one of the biggest reasons prozac was put on the market. A mother could drown in the relentless waves of needs and deadlines and expectations (are you *sure* you don't want to chair the Reflections program for the PTA? )
Amidst all this upheaval, I am finding a bit of time for quiet reflection in the evenings before bed. As I try to process what this next school year will require of me, nagging doubts flit their way into the wispy recesses of my tired mommy brain. Unwanted questions such as "who will G sit with at lunch?" begin to loom larger and larger. My fears don't seem to want to obey my commands to SCRAM! Don't they know I'm overwhelmed already? Um, no.
I spewed a bit on one of my soaping buddy forums about my biggest fear. I'll just c&P it:
It kinda feels like an invasion...we've invested so much energy trying to provide a safe atmosphere where my kids can be themselves, discover who they are apart from the petty social cliques and negative influences of other kids, get a real 'liberal arts' education, and all that. The public school system just goes against so much of what I believe best produces well-adjusted, thoughtful, compassionate adults. We've always been involved with the community, and I tried hard not to be the type of homeschooling family that circles their wagons to shut out the big, scary world. But I have strived to show my kids what real life is about, how important each one of them is to the larger scheme of things, to persue the things that bring them joy because in doing so, they bring joy to others, and to pay attention to what makes them angry so they can be aware of injustice and work toward creative ways of making things better....
....One of my daughters has turned her back on so much of what we've taught her was important. Her daily ritual consists of her cell phone, her myspace, and her 'boos' (her two best friends and her boyfriend). She's become a queen bee, and she thinks she's all that and more. Her attitude has completely taken on the peers around her. Clothes, activities, thought processes, etc are all part of the group-think. It' s like the Adolescent Borg....resistence is futile, you will be assimilated. It's amazing how cult-like the 'in crowd' can be. I was always on the outer fringes of that exclusive group in school, so this is all new territory for me.
One of the biggest eye-opening lessons we're learning is how EXTREMELY important a diverse group of acquaintences are in a person's life. How can one grow and change without challenges to their personal status quo? The issue with teenagers is that they are so desparate to be acceptable to their peers. They find a few people like themselves (or in my daughter's case the 'in crowd/cheerleader/snob/ditz group') and every particle of their being is judged good or bad based on what the majority of the 'crowd' approves. It's sick, sick, sick. I see it played out with adults too.....my SUV is bigger and shinier than your SUV.....my kids clothes are purchased at the GAP.....my house is in THIS suburb.....we go to THIS vacation spot.....my kids go to THIS school......blah, blah, blah.
The only time peer influence is truly dangerous is when those peers are the ONLY people in a person's life. Our problem is that dd recognizes how out of balance she is, but is reluctant to reach out to new friends. Even outside of school, where she would avoid the tenacious and ferocious scrutiny of her gang, she is hesitant to make any effort to 'start over' as she puts it. Her immaturity slip is showing....but really, isn't making new friends always awkward and weird at first? I can't blame her. But I will still encourage her to enlarge her sphere of acquaintences.
And I think we'll rent the episodes of Star Trek where they encounter the Borg.....think she'll get it?
Naw, I don't think so either.
Amidst all this upheaval, I am finding a bit of time for quiet reflection in the evenings before bed. As I try to process what this next school year will require of me, nagging doubts flit their way into the wispy recesses of my tired mommy brain. Unwanted questions such as "who will G sit with at lunch?" begin to loom larger and larger. My fears don't seem to want to obey my commands to SCRAM! Don't they know I'm overwhelmed already? Um, no.
I spewed a bit on one of my soaping buddy forums about my biggest fear. I'll just c&P it:
It kinda feels like an invasion...we've invested so much energy trying to provide a safe atmosphere where my kids can be themselves, discover who they are apart from the petty social cliques and negative influences of other kids, get a real 'liberal arts' education, and all that. The public school system just goes against so much of what I believe best produces well-adjusted, thoughtful, compassionate adults. We've always been involved with the community, and I tried hard not to be the type of homeschooling family that circles their wagons to shut out the big, scary world. But I have strived to show my kids what real life is about, how important each one of them is to the larger scheme of things, to persue the things that bring them joy because in doing so, they bring joy to others, and to pay attention to what makes them angry so they can be aware of injustice and work toward creative ways of making things better....
....One of my daughters has turned her back on so much of what we've taught her was important. Her daily ritual consists of her cell phone, her myspace, and her 'boos' (her two best friends and her boyfriend). She's become a queen bee, and she thinks she's all that and more. Her attitude has completely taken on the peers around her. Clothes, activities, thought processes, etc are all part of the group-think. It' s like the Adolescent Borg....resistence is futile, you will be assimilated. It's amazing how cult-like the 'in crowd' can be. I was always on the outer fringes of that exclusive group in school, so this is all new territory for me.
One of the biggest eye-opening lessons we're learning is how EXTREMELY important a diverse group of acquaintences are in a person's life. How can one grow and change without challenges to their personal status quo? The issue with teenagers is that they are so desparate to be acceptable to their peers. They find a few people like themselves (or in my daughter's case the 'in crowd/cheerleader/snob/ditz group') and every particle of their being is judged good or bad based on what the majority of the 'crowd' approves. It's sick, sick, sick. I see it played out with adults too.....my SUV is bigger and shinier than your SUV.....my kids clothes are purchased at the GAP.....my house is in THIS suburb.....we go to THIS vacation spot.....my kids go to THIS school......blah, blah, blah.
The only time peer influence is truly dangerous is when those peers are the ONLY people in a person's life. Our problem is that dd recognizes how out of balance she is, but is reluctant to reach out to new friends. Even outside of school, where she would avoid the tenacious and ferocious scrutiny of her gang, she is hesitant to make any effort to 'start over' as she puts it. Her immaturity slip is showing....but really, isn't making new friends always awkward and weird at first? I can't blame her. But I will still encourage her to enlarge her sphere of acquaintences.
And I think we'll rent the episodes of Star Trek where they encounter the Borg.....think she'll get it?
Naw, I don't think so either.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Moments: A new year, a new rollercoaster ride.
This school year will be quite a bit different than every year that's preceeded it. Let me 'splain.
If one should come a'knocking on my door during the hours of 8-4, there will be only 2 present in the school room. Just my second grader and myself. Everyone else will be at away-school. Over the last year of home schooling, I've found that though the desire to school the kids here with me is still strong...and I believe more than ever that it can be the most excellent way to raise healthy, well-adjusted adults....where the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. My hope is that during this year, as I only need to focus on one child's education, I will get a bit of a sabbatical from the last 10 years of having a houseful of kids 24/7. Perhaps this will enable me to find the inner strength to bring the youngest kids home with me again in the future.
Our family's foray into the public school system has been a mixed bag. This summer I find I'm having very large regrets as I look back on the older 2 girls' experiences in high school thus far. My two greatest fears have been 1) that they wouldn't fit in and would feel the rejection I felt as a highschooler, always the wanna-be, and 2) that they would become part of the 'in crowd', a clique I never participated in, the queen-bees. Both of those fears have come into my reality, and there have been many days of 'scooching' through, trying to figure out (and failing so many times) how to parent teenagers who attend the public school.
Of course the knee-jerk reaction is to just bring everyone home again, keep them sheltered and protected, and bake cookies all day. Then that still, small voice says "Get Real". My girls don't want to come back home to school. Especially the queen-bee. So it looks like we will continue slogging thru the muck of cultural pressures, turbo-hormones, and just plain old life with teenagers.
In the mean time, I will give my all to tomato-staking my 2nd grader, a term I latched on to after reading another mom's experience with a son who needed a bit of extra attention.
I've revised our curriculum (see links to the left), and re-organized my life to accomodate 3 schools plus my homeschool. I face this year with not a little trepidation, as I know having kids in the public school system will drain every drop of emotional reserves I will be (hopefully) depositing in my 'bank account' during the 6 hours of relative quiet each day. But the choices have been made, registrations filled out, checks written (public educations is FAR from free) and uniforms and supplies purchased. At this point, I'm buckling my seat belt, white-knuckling the safety bar, and preparing for yet another thrill ride in the amusement park of parenting. Won't you join me?
If one should come a'knocking on my door during the hours of 8-4, there will be only 2 present in the school room. Just my second grader and myself. Everyone else will be at away-school. Over the last year of home schooling, I've found that though the desire to school the kids here with me is still strong...and I believe more than ever that it can be the most excellent way to raise healthy, well-adjusted adults....where the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak. My hope is that during this year, as I only need to focus on one child's education, I will get a bit of a sabbatical from the last 10 years of having a houseful of kids 24/7. Perhaps this will enable me to find the inner strength to bring the youngest kids home with me again in the future.
Our family's foray into the public school system has been a mixed bag. This summer I find I'm having very large regrets as I look back on the older 2 girls' experiences in high school thus far. My two greatest fears have been 1) that they wouldn't fit in and would feel the rejection I felt as a highschooler, always the wanna-be, and 2) that they would become part of the 'in crowd', a clique I never participated in, the queen-bees. Both of those fears have come into my reality, and there have been many days of 'scooching' through, trying to figure out (and failing so many times) how to parent teenagers who attend the public school.
Of course the knee-jerk reaction is to just bring everyone home again, keep them sheltered and protected, and bake cookies all day. Then that still, small voice says "Get Real". My girls don't want to come back home to school. Especially the queen-bee. So it looks like we will continue slogging thru the muck of cultural pressures, turbo-hormones, and just plain old life with teenagers.
In the mean time, I will give my all to tomato-staking my 2nd grader, a term I latched on to after reading another mom's experience with a son who needed a bit of extra attention.
I've revised our curriculum (see links to the left), and re-organized my life to accomodate 3 schools plus my homeschool. I face this year with not a little trepidation, as I know having kids in the public school system will drain every drop of emotional reserves I will be (hopefully) depositing in my 'bank account' during the 6 hours of relative quiet each day. But the choices have been made, registrations filled out, checks written (public educations is FAR from free) and uniforms and supplies purchased. At this point, I'm buckling my seat belt, white-knuckling the safety bar, and preparing for yet another thrill ride in the amusement park of parenting. Won't you join me?
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