Mumblings: Someone in marketing wasn't wearing their thinking cap.

NOT the clothes I wear. (Disclaimer: This post has absolutely nothing relevant to homeschooling...but you're prolly used to that by now.) Anyway, I ventured out to a local discount retail clothing department store last night, in need of some winter attire. So as I slash my way thru racks of clothing packed tighter than sardines, I keep noticing a certain brand on the labels. In fact, my husband noticed it on another shopping excursion (because most husbands have nothing to do while their lovely wife sets up habitation in the dressing room EXCEPT notice labels). It says "Sag Harbour".

Now I ask you (as my husband asked me), what woman in her right mind (or over a size 14) would ever want to wear clothing labelled "Sag Harbour"??? Like I need reminded???? What kind of hip name is "Sag Harbour" anyway? (Not that the clothes are hip, they're not.) Maybe that explains why so much of their product line ends up in a deep discount store......hmmm. I would love to write this company and remind them that even though Christie Brinkley is their fashion model and looks oh so attractive in their digs, she'd look as good in saran wrap and sea shells too. Not to mention Christie doesn't know the term 'sag' as it relates to the rest of us, and probably won't in this lifetime. As the classic line in 'Singing in the Rain' goes, so I say: "What 'd ya think I am, dumb r somthin'?"

If I ran the corporation which produced this line of clothing, I'd have fired the goofball who suggested that brandname within a fraction of a nano-second. If only I ran the world......

*sigh*

Mumblings: Why God Made Moms

Got this in an email forward...too cute not to pass along, although I don't know that these were from 'real' 2nd graders. Still worth a laugh. (And we could all use some o'dat, eh?)

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions...

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother & not some other mom?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Mumblings: I'm fine, no really, I'm ok, seriously.

Welcome to my cage. Pretty, yes? Today has been one of those variety when you paste on a smile and pretend all is well, when actually you're having a hard time convincing yourself first and foremost.

I found the card on the right at a little shop last fall and became enamoured. Art can sometimes sum up my thoughts so perfectly at times, and I knew I'd return to this cameo many times in the coming years. Sometimes it reminds me that even our cages can be beautiful and it's not so bad to smile thru the hard times. Other days, like today, it reminds me how utterly dumb it is to pretend all is well when it obviously isn't.

Inside reads the caption: "It's ok, we all go a little cuckoo sometimes"...which brings me much solace on days like today.

But more often it's "Yes, please just put me in the cage where I can look pretty and perform for my public." Or "Yes, I really am nuts and belong in a birdcage." There's no beating around the bush, you're in a cage because you're wacko. End of it.

I've been in a funk for a couple days now, just spinning my wheels in the homeschooling mud. Trying to re-evaluate my reasons for doing this. And what my priorities are....this is what happens when you give advice to others and appear witty and wise (which is ever-so-easy over a computer screen, a bit more difficult IRL) . You begin to mull over your own advice, looking for the telltale signs of success and failure. I'm in a 'failure' kinda mood these last few days. There's a situation brewing in my life that has forced me to take a serious look at what kind of education in life I've handed to my older kids. And after all my wise and witty words, it looks like I'm just due for a timeout in the bird cage. I plead cuckoo.

Hm. Well this doesn't make any sense, and I can't really say what I'm meaning to say. I just happened to catch a glimse of this little card today, and it seemed to articulate artistcally the irony of parenting. At least it made for a cool graphic.

More Mumblings: An Amendment

Maybe I should introduce myself in the unlikely event that some poor soul who hasn't had the pleasure of knowing me meanders into this humble blog space....you know, just in case.

I'm C. I'm almost 40. I'm married to C. I birthed 6 perfectly obedient, extremely talented, and extrordinarily gorgeous children. I'm a mother-in-law to another stunning speciman as well. I've dabbled in many things.....I like music, used to sing and write a bit, dabble in doula work, and sew baby slings. Homeschooling and driving my kids crazy...er, I mean driving my kids around town take up the biggest chunks of my day. I'm a very nice person. Extremely nice. I'm also fluent in 4 languages. Ok, not really.

My prodigy are as follows:
1) C. 20, married to A., and in college. Fabulous musician, but don't take my word for it.
2) M. on the verge of 17, beautiful beyond words, and a junior in the local high school.
3) K. just turning 15, unbelievably attractive, experiencing her first year in public school as a frosh.
4) G. 12, prettiest little thing you ever laid eyes on, schooling at home with mama.
5) B. 7, amazingly brilliant, dropping teeth like the leaves in fall, and home with me.
6) S. 5, tremdously uh, active, and home with me (usually hanging from the ceiling).

Mumblings: So what's this all about anyway?

Another day, another blog. Ho hum.

The purpose in starting this little dealio is two-fold (with a smattering of other non-descript motives). And since I have your undivided attention, why don't I just dive right in and enlighten you, eh?

Firstly, it seems I inadvertantly became an expert in homeschooling. Not because I'm so good at it, or that I've produced fabulously intelligent kids....but because I find after 10 years I'm still going at it. Plus I'm an armchair curriculum researcher. Which can be a very good thing....or a very bad thing....depending on how much I'm really getting done doing that which I'm reading about in catalogues, books and internet forums. Ahem.

So here I am suddenly volleying questions lobbed at me from those quirky creatures affectionately called newbies. I think my greatest advice to give is this: don't try to produce trophy kids. Don't do it. Avoid it like the plague. Teach 'em to read, write and do math. Read aloud from as many different genres as you can. And keep Little Debbie in your thoughts and in your pantry at all times. (Did I just type that out loud???)

Secondly, believe it or not, I have several family members and friends who actually give a doodie to know what's going on in my little universe....or at least my kids' little universes. This blog is my effort to keep them informed of the goings on in the kids' educational journeys, the goings on in my brain whether foul or fair (keeping the foul to a minimum), and helping inform the masses of little tid-bits I find interesting.

Excited yet? Oh boy, I am. Truly.